My foundation of adoration for the opposite sex began early. I grew up at the end of a long country road, where all of my neighborhood playmates were boys. We played endlessly with sticks, snakes, and Tonka trucks. We’d ride bikes and race our imaginary race cars up and down the winding road, and when the race was over we'd make mud pies. Those boys loved me. They included me, teased me, and protected me. Whenever I was with them, I felt like I belonged, and so my love for men began.
This ease of connecting with men carried me into my teens and early adulthood. I found them to be easier to get along with than women my age, as they were simple, and without drama. My career in social work entailed service in liberal settings such as domestic violence shelters and abuser groups. Through working with both men and women, I learned about the social constructs and false narratives that men are raised and conditioned with. I learned about the destructive narratives that many men have about women and what causes this level of violence. I remained curious about and drawn to the hearts and minds of men.
My husband and I married in our early thirties, and a year later, we had our son, our only child. As a mother, I was committed to raising a man who would honor and respect women, and quickly I realized in order to bravely train up my son in a world so fueled by power and divided by gender, I’d have to understand what the world was like for him. I read books, listened to podcasts, and attended workshops. Having a son is a high honor and anything I learned, I used to emotionally place myself in his shoes.
I realized the tall order of raising an emotionally healthy man who is willing to be vulnerable in a world that allows him only three emotions (tired, hungry, horny). It was as if I was throwing my son into the lion’s den every single time he left the house. The more I put myself in his shoes, the more compassion I had for what life was like for him.
By this time, I had started a private practice, and it was quickly noticed how my compassion for my son naturally emerged into my therapy work with men. I grew more and more compassionate about connecting with men, helping them name the limitations that our culture has given them. In turn, I’d help them find their own language and tools to navigate what is most important to them, their relationships. Throughout this work, I discovered that when men feel seen, and respected, especially by an emotionally healthy woman, their world evolves. This connective process is restorative and changes everything.
Men have the same emotions as women but have been taught that it is dangerous to express them. I am a safe harbor for men who are ready to return to their true essence, fully embodied in their strength, their gifts, and their joy. I’ve taken from all of my experience, the pain and the joy, the fear, and the hope, and have created a mission to help men close the distance between their success and their unhappiness.
I have immense compassion for the shitty ways our world raises young men. And I’ve witnessed firsthand through abuse, divorce, addiction, and suicide, the destruction a man can cause to himself and those he loves dearly when he is not living out his true essence. I’m committed to standing against the lies that men are taught. I am an agent of change for men.
When we do right by men, they do right by themselves. When men do right by themselves, they do right by their loved ones. When men do that, they change the world.
Let's change the world together.
